I’M HERE. I’M WITH YOU

Sympathy and empathy look like same same and many people use them interchangeably. However, they are very different in meanings and attitudes.

Let’s see an instance of two statements:

“I’m sorry for your pain. You should/can…”
“I may not actually know how painful you feel, but I’m here to listen.”

This 1st statement is passive, distant, disconnected, feeling sorry for someone from your own point of view, then offering unsolicited advice and passing judgement. It is sympathy: YOU FEEL SORRY FOR SOMEONE.

The 2nd one is more active, connected, close, understanding someone’s feeling as if they were yours, then getting to the root of the problem by listening, offering comfort, being present with. It is empathy: YOU ARE WITH SOMEONE IN THEIR PAIN AND CAN FEEL IT AS YOURS.

Life needs more empathy than sympathy.
We are invited to be real, authentic, connected and compassionate with other people. Please, do not give any advice when you talk with the broken-hearted. Just be there with them, listen, offer a shoulder to cry on, and pray with them and for them.

With love,

Little-pencil