WHEN I AM OLD AND GRAY…

Even when I am old and gray,
do not forsake me, my God,
till I declare your power to the next generation,
your mighty acts to all who are to come. (Psalm 71:18)

I have spent time with many senior people in Australia, and it’s clear that they live in comfortable, secure environments. They don’t worry about basic needs like food, shelter, or healthcare, thanks to the robust welfare system of a developed country. I am grateful to God for these blessings that many people from my home country long for every day.

However, material well-being does not guarantee spiritual peace or happiness. I have observed that many still have deep spiritual needs. One such need is the desire for love and care from their loved ones. Many fear being abandoned by family, friends, and, most profoundly, by God.

Their struggles remind me of St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta. We often admire her for her selfless charity work with the poor, and we assume she must have had an unshakable faith and a strong relationship with God. She expressed God’s love through her incredible acts of service. Yet, few know that in the final decades of her life, Mother Teresa experienced an overwhelming sense of spiritual desolation. She once wrote to her spiritual director, “In my soul, I feel just that terrible pain of loss, of God not wanting me, of God not being God, of God not really existing.”¹

This revelation about Mother Teresa challenged me deeply. The journey of faith is not a simple, one-time achievement. It is an ongoing process, a path we must continually rediscover, and it becomes even more difficult as we draw closer to God.

I ask myself:

Can I still praise God when I feel His absence in my life?
Do I love God unconditionally, as He loves me without condition?
Do I trust in God’s love for me when I am weak, ashamed, or aging?

Let us continue to read Psalm 71:

19 Your righteousness, God, reaches to the heavens,
    you who have done great things.
    Who is like you, God?
²⁰Though you have made me see troubles,
    many and bitter,
    you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth
    you will again bring me up.
²¹You will increase my honor
    and comfort me once more. (Psalm 71:19-21)

With love,

Little-pencil