When we read the story of Jesus’s entry into the world, it is often bewildering to understand the details surrounding His birth, especially in the Gospel of Matthew 1:18-25. For example:
- Why is Joseph said to be betrothed to Mary?
- Why does he consider quietly divorcing her?
- Why is Mary referred to as his wife?
The answers to these questions lie in understanding Jewish culture and marriage customs, which provide crucial context to make sense of the Scriptures. Let us take a closer look to clarify these details.
Engagement:
“The engagement was often arranged when the couple were only children. It was usually arranged through the parents or a professional matchmaker. It was often made without the couple having met each other. Marriage was considered too serious a matter to be left to the discretion of the human heart.” In modern terms, we could describe this as an “arranged marriage.”
Betrothal:
“The betrothal was the formal ratification of the engagement into which the couple had previously entered. At this stage, the engagement could still be broken if the girl was unwilling to proceed. However, once the betrothal was entered into, it became legally binding. This betrothal period lasted a year. During this time, the couple were known as husband and wife, although they did not yet live together or have the rights of married persons. If the betrothal were to be dissolved, it could only be done through a divorce.
In Jewish law, there is a curious phrase: a girl whose fiancé dies during the betrothal is called ‘a virgin who is a widow.’ Joseph and Mary were in this betrothal stage. Mary was legally known as Joseph’s wife, though they had not yet consummated the marriage. If Joseph wished to end the betrothal, he could only do so through divorce.”
Marriage Proper:
“The third stage, marriage proper, took place at the end of the betrothal period. If we keep in mind the normal Jewish customs of marriage, the relationships in the story of Joseph and Mary become clear and understandable.”
(Retrieved from The Gospel of Matthew, Vol. 1 by William Barclay)
This cultural and legal context helps us to understand why Joseph, upon learning of Mary’s pregnancy, would have considered divorce. According to Jewish law, the consequences of being found pregnant during the betrothal period could be severe.
What could have happened to Mary if Joseph had publicly divorced her?
“If, however, this accusation is true, and no proof of the young woman’s virginity can be found, she shall be brought to the door of her father’s house, and there the men of her city shall stone her to death. For she has committed an outrage in Israel by being promiscuous in her father’s house. So you must purge the evil from among you.” (Cf. Deuteronomy 22:20-29)
Joseph, however, is described as a “just man” who sought to act mercifully toward Mary. He did not want to make her a public spectacle. Joseph’s righteousness was not simply about adherence to the law but about showing mercy and compassion. This is why, as Matthew tells us, Joseph “resolved to divorce her quietly.” His intention was to follow the principles set out in the Book of Deuteronomy:
“Suppose a man enters into marriage with a woman, but she does not please him because he finds something objectionable about her. He writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house; she then leaves his house and becomes another man’s wife.” (Cf. Deuteronomy 24:1-4)
In this light, Joseph’s plan to divorce Mary quietly demonstrates his deep faithfulness to God’s law and his compassionate heart. By contemplating such an action, Joseph shows both his devotion to the Scriptures and his desire to protect Mary from scandal and harm.
This deeper understanding of Jewish marriage customs and the context of Joseph’s decision helps us to better grasp the gravity of the situation in Matthew 1:18-25. Through Joseph’s righteousness and mercy, we see a foreshadowing of God’s own mercy and justice, ultimately fulfilled in the birth of Jesus, the Savior of the world.
Merry Christmas to you and your family!
With love,
Little-pencil
Little-pencil 