When I painted this scene, the image of the lone deer standing on the edge of the rock came to me like a gentle whisper from Scripture. Psalm 42 has always stirred something deep within me: “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.” As I laid each brushstroke, I felt as though I was painting not just a creature of the forest, but the very longing of the human heart.

The deer in the painting is small compared to the vast light before it. It stands still, alert, almost trembling. For me, that deer is every soul, my soul, standing before the mystery of God. There are moments in our life when the heart burns with desire, when the presence of God is almost tangible in difficulties, hardships, loneliness and sufferings. Yet there are also days when God seems distant, when prayer feels dry, and when the world around us asks mockingly, “Where is your God?”

Like the psalmist, I, too, have known tears “day and night.” I have known moments when loneliness presses in, when burdens seem heavy, and when my own heart questions its strength. And yet, just as the deer continues to search for water, something within me keeps searching for the living God. This longing is not a weakness. However, it is grace. It is the Holy Spirit stirring the depths of the soul, reminding me that I am made for communion, for love that never fades.

The light behind the deer in the painting symbolizes memory: “These things I remember as I pour out my soul.” I remember the joy of the moment God brought me back to life, the warmth of the family and communities and people who welcomed and accepted me in love unconditionally, the first step and breath that I knew more of how to live again fully and completely. These memories shine like sunlight through branches, guiding me forward in darker hours. They remind me that God has never abandoned me. God walks in every valley and stands on every mountain with me.

As the deer gazes toward the light, it invites me and anyone who contemplates this painting:

to pause for while…,
to breathe deeper…,
and to let the heart thirst again…
For it is in the thirst that we recognize our true desire: not for success or security, but for the living God who alone satisfies.

May every longing lead us back to Our loving and merciful God.

With love and prayers,
Little-pencil